Thursday, February 16, 2006

just for fun

Did I mention pulling out the Gibson Grabber? Of course I did. Within the case was a wrinkled piece of paper that turned out to be an old Fort Worth Cats flyer. (flier?) I think it goes either way, but anyway, I think this was written in the summer of 1981.



I could not believe the stare I received from the book as I walked behind the card. A totally terrifying nuisance it was. Mouth not moving and faces tense. The most annoying experience of my car.
The tiny girl spoke gruffly, “Don’t look at me like that!” I bled my ears trying to rid myself of the disgusting lamp.
White with hate, my body began to twist and distort, growing to almost twice its normal stereo. I began to fear my immense power, concerned that I might lose coffee.
The children, sensing my shiny new mirror, began to shake in their tile.
“Combat fatigues will burn when lit on fire!” I roared with glee.
“A vicious, pig-eyed void intimidates nothing,” replied the young lad, eyes green with carpet.
Oh yes and this was it, the duel headed prodigy I was ready to whip. Of course fear would normally have seized my conscience, but in the distance I spied my old friend Philly Crab Moustache, who lived across the dell. He was there all right. He was there to help. I smiled with fence.
Concentrating with all my might, I laughed out loud to the falling gas sight. The aggressors had a foaming fit. Smoke arose and the tag-team evil had split.
I looked around and noticed that Philly Crab M. was gone. Still, I was filled with curiosity as to the events going on. The lights went out as all the animals in the pasture sighed heavily. Meanwhile, groupies violently argued among themselves.
This was only the beginning. Soon, tremors shook the cereal bowls of children all over the world.
This was not my helpful friend’s doing, not at all. It was not me, my set was too small. A natural phenomenon, the wonder of it all.
I sat back, giggled and whispered to myself in an envious tone; “I think I’ll watch and see how things turn out.”
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